From: thomas@smaug.uio.no (CyberAmazon)
Subject: Macho Woman; splatter, splatter
Date: 6 Jul 93 20:31:18 GMT
Cc: geirs@ifi.uio.no, e.b.stokstad@admin.uio.no



Macho Woman; splatter, splatter

   [The following story is a True Story From (Hype(r))Reality.
   Trust me, I was there.  Well, I have changed a few details,
   and expanded on others perhaps.  I've transplanted the
   location to the chatsubo.  The real location was a small
   room at the ARCON 9 role playing game congress in Oslo,
   ten days (or nights) ago, in the _Macho Women With Guns_
   setting.  Nuff said.  --T]


I move carefully through the battered door and make my way to
the counter.  Ratz has already spotted me and is mixing my
drink.  I'm CyberAmazon, advanced prototype, and I'm in a
mean mood.  Ratz takes one look at my face and knows that I'm
not feeling talkative tonight.  He puts the hemo colada in
front of me without a word and I flip a coin on the counter.

I find a small unoccupied table and sips the drink.  It dawns
on me that I need to burn some steam.  I'm considering how to
deal with this when a voice interrupts my trail of thoughts.

"Hey, babe, zat'za real nice outfit you're wearin', real
cool, yeah, nice tits."  I look at the sloppy meat weakling
that's hanging over my table, my face expressionless.  "Do
you think so?"  My voice is even and toneless.  Inside I feel
an odd mix of anticipation, anger and Nietzscean laughter
build up.  "Yeah, I think so.  That body condom is my kind of
thing, and I can do even better things with your tits than it
does."  I keep my voice toneless: "You're out of your league.
Now get your squirrel ass out of here before I rip it off and
feed it to the waste burner."  I hope he has a weapon and
will pull it at me.  "You can't talk to me that way, babe!
Apologize or I'll cut up your fuckin' smooth face!"  His hand
waves towards my face with a knife in it.  This must be Xmas
eve.

Sometimes my cyber reflexes surprise even me.  I've grabbed
his wrist even before I've formed the thought.  I slowly
increase the pressure while I get up.  As I stand up I feel
something give in his hand and hear a muffled crack, followed
by a grinding sound as I maintain the pressure.  The sound is
hard to hear -- impossible for meat ears -- against the
panicky scream of pain that accompanies it.  I ain't through
yet.  With my other arm I grab his head and slams it into my
chest, piercing his left eyeball with my ditto nipple.  So
much for mistaking my biocarbamide-steel exo-skeleton for a
"body condom".

The knife makes its clattering way to the floor as I release
a limp, broken hand.  A wet suction sound emerges as I let
the sobbing creature dislodge itself from my chest by its own
weight and crumple to the floor.

A deformed slippery object has attached itself to my nipple.
It comes off with a soft, spongy sound, slips deftly through
my fingers and disappears into my drink with a distinct plop.
I look at my drink, disgusted.  Biosynth hemo colada is cool;
lots of aminos, carbs and iron.  (You meatlings have no idea
how much aminos and iron it takes to maintain this inbuilt
bioarmor.  Well, you may get a lot of "personal mail" in your
mailboxes, but my personal mail is a part of my body.)

No drinking now.  Real hemo from strangers is a risky
business.  I pick up the crawling figure from the floor.
"This is yours now.  Drink it."  All resistance broken, the
wreck obeys unquestioningly, emptying the glass.  The glass
breaks on the floor as something gets stuck in his throat.
He coughs and coughs, writhing like a snail in a waffle iron.

At last he gets it up and out.  He holds the object in his
hand.  For several seconds his other eye refuses to recognize
it.  A chilling scream and the meat staggers out the door,
the screams slowly fading out.  I'm CyberAmazon and I'm
feeling mean tonight.  I look around.  It's a mixed clientele
for sure.  All this social interaction makes me feel more
sociable.  I'm wondering if somebody else will approach me.
Somebody with style and guts.  They will need both, coz I
tell ya, I'm feeling mean and macho tonight.

             CyAm

--------------------------------------------------------------
Thomas Gramstad                            thomas@smaug.uio.no
--------------------------------------------------------------
"A Hard Woman is Good to Find"  -- The Valkyries