From: aubey@GIMLI.ASD.CONTEL.COM (Ken Aubey)
Subject: A Touch of Grey
Date: 28 Mar 91 15:24:46 GMT

Here's another shot at email posting.

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"There won't be any massacre."  A hint of smile in response.

"Hey, thanks, catgirl." I say. I was a lot more in control. "I better go talk
to Leadfoot."

<Leadfoot sits in silence in Argent's empty livingroom. He stares at the empty
space in front of him, echoing the empty space he feels inside.>

"Hey, kid.", I say, "Catch". I toss him a can of beer. He snags it in mid-air.

<Anger grows in Leadfoot's eyes.>

I notice his temper redline. Doesn't like being called "kid". "Sorry, I'm old
enough, I'd probably call yer grampa 'kid'. Didn't mean nothin' by it." I take
a seat. We both pop the can tops one-handed.

"Feelin' like hammered crap, ain'cha?" He looks up in surprise.

"Feelin' like you let Argent down, like you let us down, like you let yourself
down?" Sadness clouds across Leadfoot's features. He nods his head.

"Well, that's bullshit." Surprise. Confusion.

"You go on feelin' like that, you might as well let me shoot ya' now. At least
I'll make it quick." I wait, let the words sink in.

"Argent got hurt, hurt bad. Damn near killed. You think you coulda' done
anything about it?"

"I was supposed to be his bodyguard. I should have known, should have done
something!" Head hangs like a whipped kid.

"Like what? Slept in the same bed? Not *neither* of your styles, I don't think.
That was Liralen Li that nailed him tonight, not some streetmeat punk. If you'd
been in there, we'd have two casualties, and I bet you don't have Argent's kind
of medical insurance. That's nothin' against you or your abilities. She's
kicked my ass in the past, too. Sometimes, there just ain't a damn thing you
can do - you just have to roll with it, hope it don't kill you."

"This is like a war. It IS a war, really, us against ARES. A real wise fella',
a Legion sergeant about two hundred years old, once told me 'The only thing you
can do wrong in war is to die. Everything else can be fixed or doesn't matter.'
What'cha plannin' on doing tomorrow, when we hit 'em?"

"Running Wolf says we need a diversion. I'm going to be the diversion." There
is some desperation in the voice.

<Medicine Hawk chugs down his beer, crushes the can, shakes his head.>

"So, your gonna go over to where they're keeping Li, and when you know we're
inside, you're gonna start raisin' hell outside, attract attention, right?"
Leadfoot nods.

"Maybe get shot at? Maybe get killed?" He nods again.

I scratch my head. "What the fuck for? To make up for Argent? You think dyin'
will help him?" Silence.

"Everybody screws up. Part of bein' alive. A lot of people have died or
gotten hurt because of me. Too goddamn many. I ordered some of 'em to their
deaths, some of 'em died because I couldn't help 'em in time, some of 'em
I killed myself. Not a damn thing I can do to help any of 'em now. It's
just the way it is."

"I still have to do it."

"I know. You dont have to die to make amends, though.  If you die, the other
side wins. Hurts like hell, too. Be careful." I move to leave the room, turn.

"Hey, Leadfoot. You look like a street kid. You got any gang buddies?"

"A few. How come?"

"I bet that for a few nuyen, you could convince 'em  to kick the crap out of
each other. Maybe even in front of an ARES facility. Think about it. Bein' in a
crowd makes you a lot smaller target."

As I left the room, I thought I heard a voice that sounded kind of like my own,
saying "Thanks, Sarge." Damn flashbacks. I have to get this nerve wiring
overhauled soon.
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-- Thanks to all the others building this story thread.
--
-- Anybody else out there reading this stuff?? Let us know what you
-- think about it.
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-- Ken Aubey (aubey@gimli.asd.contel.com)
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