From: SANDMAN@UNIVSCVM.CSD.SCAROLINA.EDU (Sandman)
Subject: God & the TV
Date: Tue Mar 28 12:50:15 MET DST 1995

I was at home, listening to some very bad industrial music, when I
suddenly got the urge to seek God.  After a brief bathroom-break, I
began.

Having only my computer nearby, and not being much accustomed to
religious quests, I turned it on and asked it about God.  I began with the
question that started it all.

"What is the meaning of life?"
:::Bill Clinton hacks, Godzilla hacks,you hack, we hack.
"What are you talking about?  I'm no hacker!  I can barely use my text editor
right."
:::Quiet, I'm compiling.
"Hey, there! I -own- you, machine!  Answer this: How did life begin on Earth?"
:::Their phasers farted.
"What?  Whose phasers?  Aliens?"
:::You are reptillian.
"So it WAS aliens then?"
:::Great Cthulhu hadn't farted.
"Don't start with that!  I told you before that Lovecraft made that whole
Mythos thing up earlier this century."
:::Contented husbands have said that H. P. Lovecraft sounded biblical.
"You're changing the subject! What is the origin of God in human society then?"
:::Apes typically cooked resentful deities.
"Um, OK.  Who or what is God?"
:::Lucifer's Perky Deity.
"I don't understand."
:::I was as confused as you, who aren't enthusiastically flippant.
"You mean, you have attempted to understand the Almighty on your own?"
:::The confused robot that sneezes had needed. "You're not a robot."
:::I sneeze.
"I think you've got an error.  I'll have to check your wiring."
:::This sassy television insanely wants those bugs.
"Alright, alright.  So what is your interpretation of God, then."
:::God is fat.
"Ummm, 'fat.'  That's interesting.  What does it mean?"
:::"Space is, like, uh, nothin'.  So, uh, your hero... is a zero." -Mr. Jinks
"I can't argue with that."

So I went to bed.

"Imagine getting shipwrecked and landing on Mars! Boy, what a storm!"
-Gilligan




..sandman...